2019 WRAP UP!

(p/s : Started writing this post in January but only able to finish writing in June. And guess what? I'm already in my second year of housemansip now, alhamdulillah)

Wow! A year has passed, hasn't it! MashaAllah, time moves super fast that I still feel like I just started the year 2019. But anyway, happy new year! We can never stop the clock from ticking, so let's move on to the new 2020 😁

As how everyone else is doing reflections on their past year and resolutions for the new year, I was doing the same too! And it took me days to fully wrap everything (well, not really fully yet) that happened last year. Indeed, 2019 was a different year for me, completely different in almost everything and of course, a different ME-self too!

1. 2019: The year I started my first job, everrrr. 
Not gonna lie but my job has been the ONE main thing that's the most significant for the year and my growth. Starting the job as a KKM houseman in April, learning all different new things everyday, going strong for all struggles I had to face day by day, definitely changed me a lot. Honestly, the job is indeed draining mentally and physically but to my surprise, I actually love MY JOB although (tbh) I still have that wishful thinking that I will someday marry someone super rich that I dont't have to do this job anymore (LOL).
Having to force my body and my mind to go to work everyday is hard, like superrr hard, but I still wake up at 5am every single day (except on my off days). I still try my best to arrive at the hospital as early as I can although most days, my heart feels soooo heavy to leave the bed. I have the choice to just MIA and take emergency leave if I want, but alhamdulillah so far, I have never done that. Why? I also have no idea. I guess I'm just being responsible to my job? IDK. After all, Allah has blessed me with a job that comes with alhamdulillah, good amount of pay, so who am I to simply being so irresponsible for nothing? Plus, I have MARA debts to pay and I can't run away from it, sigh.
Being lazy is okay, we are not perfect anyway. There are days that we are motivated / inspired to do good things, but there will also be days that we feel heavy, lazy and have all the negative thinkings, but it's okay. Allah knows we are tired, He knows that we can't do good every day. But we're all trying, right? We're trying to be better everyday, we still try our best to do the things we're obligated to, and we try so hard to restrain ourselves from doing things that He prohibited us from doing. So, let's just keep trying and doing our best, because He knows, and inshaAllah He will always help us going through all our struggles. It does sound cliche, doesn't it? But, that's the truth we gotta have faith in.


2. 2019 : The year I made so many new friends.
I have never worked all my life before, so being an introvert myself, I've never been exposed to so many new people. Making new friends wasn't that hard, surprisingly. I met some people who I can 'click' so well, but I also encountered some people who I instantly knew that I can't be so 'friendly' with. My job isn't a single-man-show and it requires me to work with people, so of course I have to maintain good relationship with most people. And alhamdulillah, most people I work with are so nice and helpful. But I just have to be careful with some people who are just so unhelpful and super selfish (yep, there are people like that).
Okay now, where is my 'jodoh'? Hmm pending forever. Hahahaha.


3. 2019 : The year I discovered so much about myself. 
Of course this had to do with both points above. Despite living this life for already 25 years +, to be honest I never really knew myself well. There's still so much bad and good things about myself that I yet to discover and 2019 was the year I discovered most of it, at least for the time being. I never knew I would be able to do the things that I did (one of the main thing is of course, working as a houseman LOL). The sad truth is, I always see myself as a weak person. I mean, I know I'm pretty much a positive person, at least that's what everyone always tell me. But, I also realise that I am not that ambitious and not always strong for every hurdles that come my way. You get what I mean?

Although most of the time, I will able to gather my strength to just power through those shitty days but the strength doesn't come easy, it's 'there' after hours of whining and crying my heart out 😜. Now looking back to those survival days, I guess I have to acknowledge my strength and positivity. So yep, call me 'strong lady' after this, k? Hehe.

Now that we are talking about my goods and bads, I feel like listing 10 things about myself, LOL what a narcissist! But that's for later lah, if only I had time to make that list. As if anybody asked for that, Maisarah but whatever lah, this is my 'space' anyway 💁 (but if you would like to know more about me, meh lah talk over coffee some other time hehe tak malu pretending future jodoh is reading this HAHAHA)


Okay lah, I think this is long enough already. This post is actually already in draft for months since January. Only now in June that I got to finish it, so here you go! Thanks for reading :)

Keep your prayers for me, okay! Till then, goodbye friends 💓